


Hard to Swallow, I Feel Hollow

by Kh530



Series: Still Descending, Never Ending [1]
Category: Green Creek Series - T.J. Klune
Genre: Gen, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:20:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22263250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kh530/pseuds/Kh530
Summary: A collection of scenes for Ravensong, regarding the addition of original character, Maren Bennett.Maren is the twin of Mark Bennett and a Beta of the Bennett pack. They are queer: trans-nonbinary and aromantic, as well as neurodivergent. They are a composer, focusing on mostly instrumentals, as well as an adjunct college professor. And they're as much of a dumbass as the rest of the Bennett pack.All of this, and more, will be explored throughout this work and the larger series!
Relationships: Mark Bennett & Original Character, Mark Bennett/Gordo Livingstone, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Still Descending, Never Ending [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602598
Comments: 20
Kudos: 15





	1. Ravensong: Fucking Idiots/Song of the Alpha to Feral page 142 to 193

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for being interested in reading my character, Maren. I put a lot of work and heart into creating them so I hope you enjoy the scenes that you read and I don't break your heart too much. Please, please, let me know what you think because I'm honestly scared shitless to post this.
> 
> Each scene varies in length and point of view. The scene placement is stated as the chapter title corresponding with the respective chapter and page of Ravensong according to the physical release. This work will *only* include present-day Ravensong scenes, with others being added in a separate work. Scenes will be uploaded in order of how they would appear in the book (with limited exceptions). Bold type words indicate TJ's words, *not my own words*. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think <3

[Fucking Idiots/Song of the Alpha, page 120]

 **“Even** **_I_ ** **was getting worried,” Chris said. “And you know how I don’t like getting worried.”**

“Are you actually going to remove your head from your ass?” Maren said, popping their head into the doorway, having heard Rico’s call. They stood with a pencil propped on their outer ear, probably having been writing—either a new composition or something for one of the classes they taught. 

The past year had been kind to Maren. Since Richard Collins’ death, they seemed more stable than they had in a long, long time. They still carried the scars of the past, the ever-present blue was...still present, but they had other things to focus on, that had allowed Maren to heal. 

“Why are you even here?” I groaned. “You don’t even work here. I don’t pay you. “ I turned to Ox, wondering if there was a chance I was wrong. 

“No, you don’t,” Ox answered before I bothered to open my mouth. 

“I get some good writing done here,” Maren said brightly. “Guess that you all are just my muses.”

I rolled my eyes at them, but I couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on my face. I was glad that this place, this pack, these friends, had been helping Maren. They deserved that after all these years. 

* * *

[Fucking Idiots/Song of the Alpha, page 128]

**“Gordo,” he said, sounding faintly amused as he always did when he said my name.**

**“Mark,” I said in return, resolutely staring straight ahead.**

“God I wish I could get drunk,” Maren muttered to Robbie, who was at their side. “These two make me want to drink.” 

Robbie snickered at Mark and I. I ignored them both.

**Ox and Joe sighed in unison, the insufferable Alphas that they were.**

* * *

[Pinpricks of Light/Bones and Dust, page 132]

**“Maybe you should just learn to be happy with yourself. Being aromantic doesn’t have anything to do with that.”**

“Fucking preach,” Maren said, as they high fived Tanner.

**“Shut the fuck up, Tanner. You’re making me feel bad.” [Chris said]**

“You gonna tell me to shut up too, Chrissy?” Maren bared their teeth are him playfully and he took a step back. 

“N-no, sir—erm ma’am—Captain?” Chris, moving to hide behind Rico. 

Maren cackled and I couldn’t keep a smile off my face either. Neither could Mark.

**“Humans are so weird,” Kelly muttered.**

* * *

[Pinpricks of Light/Bones and Dust, page 140]

**Joe had refused to leave his mother’s side while she looked after the Omega. It was late. The humans had gone home. Carter and Kelly were on patrol, running the edges of the territory. Robbie was in his room.**

Maren was on a conference call, something about the new music they had been working on with some client. According to Mark, Maren had worked with him before, during the years I had been away. Some kid who was some supernatural show. I didn’t know. I didn’t really care if I was being honest. 

**Mark was… well. I didn’t need to think about where Mark was. It was none of my business.**

* * *

[Good Idea/ Tick Tick Tick, page 147]

**“Ox and Robbie are opening tomorrow,” Tanner said easily.**

“Maren’s gonna help.” 

“Oh for the love of God, Maren is not touching any—“

Tanner rolled his eyes. “Do you really think we’d let Maren touch one of the cars? We’re not that stupid.”

I raised my eyebrows. Sometimes I wondered.

**“I’ve got invoices to–”**

**“Jessie said she’d handle them,” Chris said.**

* * *

[She Knows/ Then Came The Violet, page 179]

**Carter was confused, but the sight of his injured uncle caused him to whine. He went to Mark, nosed at the wound, lapped at it as it slowly healed, his tongue streaked with blood.**

I could feel Maren’s worry like a thick curtain of steel gray and the light brown wolf rubbed against their brother’s injured side, their teeth bared, ready to face Pappas if he dared to come near Mark again. But he wouldn’t.

**Papas writhed on the ground.**

* * *

[She Knows/ Then Came The Violet, page 187]

**Ox, who now stood tall and strong, arms crossed over his chest, eyes red as he watched Philip Pappas prowl the edges of the room. Joe stood to his right. Mark was on his left.**

Maren was expectedly, considering what had just happened, at Mark’s side, silent but watching Pappas closely.

**They’d all dressed, at least partially. Joe and Ox wore jeans and nothing more. Mark had on a pair of sweats and a loose T-shirt.**

Maren was dressed similarly, with a pair of pajama pants and a thick flannel that wasn’t buttoned, drawing my attention to the two thin, faded scars across their chest.

* * *

[She Knows/ Then Came The Violet, page 188.]

 **Joe and Ox immediately wolfed out**. 

Maren looked as they were half about to as well, their claws where their fingers had once been. 

**Possessive assholes.**

Although I wasn’t surprised. Not really. Especially not Maren. Hell, I’d known this would be their reaction in the first place. Robbie was pack, but more importantly, he was as good as Maren’s own kid. I didn’t think there was a damn thing they wouldn’t do to protect him. 

**“I already told him to fuck off,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Put the claws away. You guys look like idiots. And Joe, good to know you’re over the whole back away from my man thing. I thought you were going to piss on Ox.”**

**Joe scowled at me. “I will bite your face off, so help me—”**

“ _Michelle Hughes_ is not touching Robbie,” Maren growled interpreting Joe’s baseless threat, their face full of teeth. I heard the words “Mine” and “Pup” and a softer “Son” through the bond with Maren. Mark put a hand on his sibling’s shoulder, pushing them into him, their head falling into his shoulder. 

“No one’s taking Robbie. We aren’t letting that happen, Mar.” Mark said and Joe nodding before Ox brought them back on topic.

**“Infection,” Ox said suddenly, watching me closely.**

* * *

[Feral, page 192.]

**“How long?”**

**The voice came from behind us. I glanced over my shoulder. Carter stood in the doorway, shoulders squared, jaw set.** **Kelly stood at his side, eyes wide and wet. Elizabeth was behind her eldest son, head bowed, forehead pressed against his back.**

Maren stood next to Carter, their ever-present blue ringing intensely through the pack bonds with lines of red rage. Their expression with tense, but almost blank as I knew they tried to control the emotions raging through their mind.

**“How long?” he asked again.**

* * *

[Feral, page 193. Michelle threatens to kill Mark and Carter and the Pack.]

**She looked at him. “In three days I will take matters into my own hands. Bennett pack, I wish things had turned out differently. But surely, if you were in my position, you would do the same. If we are to survive, then the infection must be quarantined. And then eradicated.”**

**The screen went black.**

And Maren Bennett bolted from the room, unable to handle everything that was going on and I heard the sound of a wolf shift from outside the door. I saw Mark close his eyes and sigh deeply.

  
  
  
  



	2. Ravensong: Feral, page 193 to 196

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read! I hope you enjoy and if you do, feel free to leave a comment (please I live off validation from other people).
> 
> Thank you to my beta for this section, the lovely Sarah for whom I would not have survived without.

[Mark POV. Prior to Gordo and Mark’s conversation on page 195.]

It didn’t take Mark long to find his twin in the woods near the fallen oak trees. Even if this hadn’t been Maren’s favorite place in the territory (next to their studio), it was easy for him to find Maren. Not only was he their twin, but he was also their tether and the bond between the two of them had always been one of the strongest in the pack. For as long as they could remember, for the past forty-something years, Mark and Maren had been able to feel each other through the bonds of pack, of being twins, of being tethers. For better or for worse, Mark was the one who best understood the mess of emotions that was Maren’s mind. 

There was a rustling behind one of the sets of bushes that littered the forest floor and he knew Maren was present without even calling out to their bonds. 

“Are you really gonna make me come in there? Like this?” There was no response from his twin. “Seriously, Mar?” 

Mark reached out to Maren’s orange bonds and was assaulted with the emotions they were trying desperately to hold back— their deep blue ever-present, sadness that felt more intense than usual, a bright, rich violet rage, and a black fear so intense it made Mark’s skin crawl. The wolf growled in return and Mark had to stop pushing on the bond with his twin. 

He took a deep breath, shaking his head back and forth in an attempt to regain his composure, and bent down, beginning to crawl through the underbrush. 

The other side of the underbrush was a small grotto— the same one where they both had come as children when the world became too much for them. And it was there he found a large brown wolf laying against a log, eyes shut in what seemed to be pain, although Mark knew it wasn’t from any external force. 

Mark knelt down next to his sibling and Maren growled softly before opening their eyes, looking directly at him. Mark could feel the hum of  _ PackBrotherHeartHome _ and with that  _ fearfearfearfearangersadnessFEAR _ . The pitch black of Maren’s fear, fear for him, fear of losing him, made his heart feel as though it was breaking in half. 

More than anything he wanted to assure Maren that everything would be alright. That  _ he _ would be alright. That he would always be by their side. But he couldn’t do that. And he knew a well-intentioned lie would not help his sibling whose emotions were so intense they couldn’t keep human form. 

So he didn’t. He didn’t lie. He didn’t assure Maren that everything would be okay. He just sat among the grass of the small grove, a grove that had felt so much larger when they had been so much smaller, and he laid his head on his twin’s brown fur. 

“I love you,” Mark whispered, the only thing he could think to say that felt true, that would never be a lie. “I will always love you. No matter what, Mar. I will always love you.”

The brown wolf licked Mark’s face and he felt Maren’s mind begin to calm—not a lot, never completely, but a bit. 

Through the bond, Mark heard the sound of  _ gordogordogordo _ and  _??? _ . Mark sighed. He didn’t want to think about his mate. But Maren nudged him with their nose, trying to get him to stand up. 

“You want me to go?” Mark said 

Maren woofed sharply. 

“You aren’t going to come with me, are you?” He asked. 

Maren nudged him again before shaking their head. Once, twice, then laying back on the ground, eyes closed. 

Mark sighed again. He had known Maren was right and honesty, he wanted to talk to Gordo too. He wanted to see Gordo again especially if—he threw the thought from his mind, not wanting it to touch his twin. 

“I’ll be back,” Mark said, before kneeling down and crawling through the undergrowth. He knew where he was heading. 

* * *

[Feral, page 196]

**I was about to start the truck when he knocked at the window.**

His clothes were dirty as if he’d lost a fight with a tree. I wondered if Maren had anything to do with that.

**I thought about ignoring him. I rolled down the window instead. “Home?” Mark asked.**

* * *

[Mark POV. Prior to the beginning of Nevermore/Can’t Fight This.]

When Mark was finished speaking to Gordo and then Dale, he returned the grotto where he knew Maren remained. A pair of jeans in his hand, a pair of his own that had remained at Dale’s, slung over his shoulder. 

“It’s time, Mar. We need to head back.” Mark called. 

He had been expecting an argument, but for once he received none. The large wolf with a coat of fur that matched his own appeared shortly after he called for them, rubbing against his legs. 

Mark brushed the burrs out of Maren’s fur and the bond they shared felt almost calm. At least Maren could control their emotions enough not to leak through. Mark considered that a good sign. 

Through the bond with the rest of the pack Mark head the words of  _ packpackpack _ and  _ homehomehome _ coming from Ox and Joe. He knew Maren was hearing it too and the wolf let out a disgruntled wuff. 

A moment later, a tall person stood before Mark instead of the large wolf. Mark handed them the jeans, which they took gratefully. They were loose around Maren’s waist, but they would do. 

His eyes caught on the thin scars that remained across Maren’s chest. He remembered the day nearly fifteen years ago when they gained them, losing the breasts that had once been there. Mark remembered the green that had burst from Maren’s bond with him, with the rest of the pack. He couldn’t remember a time when they’d been happier. He yearned for a return to those times. 

The two were silent as they walked home through the woods, holding on to each other’s hands as they had since before they could shift, feeling each other’s presence, each other’s bond and hoping, praying that it wouldn’t break. 

\---------------------

Robbie was waiting on the porch when Mark and Maren arrived back at the Bennett house. Maren let go of Mark’s hand; hesitating slightly, as if fearing they would never hold his hand again; to wrap their arms around the young man they basically considered their son. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” Robbie said to Maren. He then looked at Mark, still hugging Maren. “Both of you.”

“Thank you,” Mark said, giving the younger man a slight smile. Another heartbeat passed before Maren released Robbie from their embrace. 

“Go inside,” Mark said to his twin. “I need to talk to the kid, but we’ll join you after.”

Maren raised their eyebrows at Mark and he felt a curtain of fear shutter across Robbie’s mind, tinting everything black, which the man tried to quickly hide. He wasn’t quick enough. 

“You’re not in trouble. I’m not mad or anything. Just need to talk to you—and just Robbie, Maren.”

Maren looked like they were about to argue but it was then that Joe called to them from inside the house. Maren sighed before brushing their lips against Mark’s cheek, then Robbie’s. 

“I’ll see you both inside.” Maren’s voice was gruff considering it was the first time they had spoken since the previous night, but Mark considered this progress. 

“So. Uhm. What do you need to talk about?” Robbie asked, fiddling with his glasses that he didn’t technically need to wear. 

Mark closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He knew his twin was probably listening. Damn werewolves, as Gordo would say, even though Mark himself was one. 

“If anything happens to me—“

Robbie interrupted Mark, waves his hands to cut him off. “No—hey no. I don’t—“ 

Mark growled at the young man, his eyes shining orange. He wondered to himself for how much longer they would  _ remain _ that way, how much longer his mind would stay stable. 

“Let me finish.”

Robbie was silent, looking extremely uncomfortable, but nodded anyway. 

“I’m Maren’s tether, you know that. But even then is there isn’t a day that we haven’t felt each other within our bonds. Not a day.” 

Robbie frowned. Mark figured Robbie knew what was coming. 

“Maren will be a mess. If I—“

Robbie interrupted him again. “Don’t say that! If you die, then Carter will die and Kelly—“ 

Robbie broke off and Mark felt pity for him. Robbie was going to need to take care of Kelly too, should the worst happen. But Robbie was still the best choice to look after Maren. 

Mark put his hand on Robbie’s shoulder and the younger man didn’t push him away. 

“Robbie, look. I know this isn’t easy. And I know you don’t want to think about it.  _ I _ don’t want to think about it,” Mark let out another deep breath. 

“But if I die, if I go feral, someone needs to look after Maren. Gordo, I know he’ll try to help them but he and Maren— they’re not the friends they were 20, 25 years ago. Maren trusts you. They trust you enough to consider you their son. So look after them, please.” 

Robbie wrapped his arms around Mark and he was slightly startled but returned the embrace. 

“I will,” Robbie said, voice wavering, “I swear. I promise. I’ll look after them– and Kelly. I swear, Mark.”

And that was all the reassurance Mark needed. A bit of his heart felt a bit lighter for the moment, a wave of green floating over the blue that was threatening to overtake him. 


	3. Ravensong: Nevermore/Can’t Fight This, page 202 to 213

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made it this far, I give you all of my thanks! Thank you for reading and I've hope you've been enjoying it! Consider letting me know what you think!
> 
> Once again, thank you to my beta, Sarah, for being wonderful and like. The Best. I truly don't deserve her.

[Nevermore/Can’t Fight This, page 202]

**I shook him a little. “What do we do when someone tries to come for us?”**

**His eyes blazed orange. “We fight back.”**

**“Exactly. They don’t think of you like that.** Your pseudo parent wants you here.” Robbie grinned at that, a small laugh at how I referenced Maren. I continued, **“Your Alphas want you here. Your pack. Even Joe, now that you’ve stopped trying to slobber all over Ox’s dick.”**

* * *

[Nevermore/Can’t Fight This, page 203]

**Mark wasn’t in the house.**

I didn’t think Maren was either. I expected them to be as much as a wreck as Kelly and Carter were so I wouldn’t be surprised if the two of them were together, probably hidden out in the grove that they’d showed me once when I was small.

**I just knew. I didn’t know how that made me feel. Maybe he’d changed his mind. I’d actively avoided thinking about how he’d said I was his tether, even after all this time. It didn’t matter.**

* * *

[Nevermore/Can’t Fight This, page 209]

**Kelly was at his side a moment later, putting a hand in Carter’s hair, whispering in his ear, telling him it was fine, everything was fine, it would be okay, Carter, I’m here, I swear I’m not mad. I’m not going to leave you, we’re gonna be okay.**

**Robbie looked as if he was going to go to them, but Elizabeth stopped him, a hand wrapped around his wrist. She shook her head when he looked back at her. “Let them be,” she said quietly.**

**Robbie nodded but turned back toward them, shoulders tense.**

I glanced at Maren next to me, silent tears rolling down their cheeks. I could feel their fear through the bonds– but I could feel _Mark’s_ fear too, like a thick curtain of black.

The twins wrapped their arms around each other and I looked away as I heard Maren whisper to their brother, “It’s okay. It’s okay. _We’re_ going to be okay.” 

I wasn’t sure if they actually believed that.

**“What the hell was that?” Rico whispered.**

* * *

[Ox POV. During Nevermore/Can’t Fight This, before Ox and Mark’s conversation in the woods, page 213]

Oxnard Matheson breathed deeply as he approached Maren’s studio. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have, but a conversation he needed to have. It didn’t make it easier, none of this was easy, after all. 

Still, he hesitated to knock on the older wolf’s door. He stood there for a heartbeat. Then another. Then another. 

“Oh for the love of god,” Maren said from the other side of the door. “I know you’re there, Ox. Just come in.” 

Ox’s face grew slightly hot in embarrassment as he cleared his throat and opened the door. 

His second’s twin sat at a small desk in the corner of the room, full of what Ox thought might have been sheet music. Musical instruments were scattered around the room. All different kinds, that Ox didn’t even though the names off, although there were some he recognized: guitars, violins, those sorts of things. He wondered if Maren could actually play them all. 

There was a thick, soundproof curtain blocking half the room, and Ox recognized that as Maren’s home studio. He remembered the first time Maren had shown him this room. It felt like a lifetime ago, much more than seven years. He sighed as he ran his hand over the curtain, relishing the velvety feel. 

“So are you gonna talk or continue to pet my curtain?” 

“To be fair, it’s a very nice curtain?” Ox defended. 

A small smile appeared on Maren’s face and Ox couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved like he’d won a huge challenge. 

“What do you need, Ox?” Maren fiddled with the pencil in their hand, looking at him intensely. 

Ox sighed and decided to just cut to the chase. 

“Tethers,” he said. 

“Tethers are things that exist, annoying as they can be.” Maren leaned back in their chair. “What about them?”

“I know you and Mark are each other’s tether—“

Maren cut him off with a shake of their head, their light brown hair falling over their eyes. 

“I’m not Mark’s tether,” Maren said simply. “I never have been, I don’t think so, at least.”

Ox looked confused. “Than who—“ He interrupted himself. “Gordo.”

Maren nodded sharply. 

“Even after everything—”

Maren nodded again curtly, staring at a picture hanging on the other side of the room. Maren. Gordo. Mark. Thomas. They were all so young in that photo; a pang of blue went through Ox at the sight of Thomas, and Maren took his hand, squeezing it lightly. 

“Is Mark—“ Ox began, but it was as though Maren already knew what he was going to say. They probably did. 

“Yes,” Maren said, their voice flat, their face expressionless. Ox knew better than to push on his bonds with Maren right now. “Mark’s my tether. He always has been. He always—“

Maren cut themself off, swallowing thickly. The words _always will be_ , dead in their throat. 

Ox sidestepped the desk then, wrapping his arms around the Beta in front of him. He could feel the deep blue washing over Maren and wished he could wipe it all away. 

After several moments, Maren broke the embrace, wiping their eyes. 

“If you’re going to tell me to get my shit together and prepare for the worst, Lizzy already beat you. She already gave me and the kids that lecture.” 

Ox blinked. He actually was a bit surprised about that. He hadn’t known Elizabeth had had that conversation with anyone. 

“If Mark—“ Ox started, but stopped, thinking about the right words to say. He was never good with words and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Maren more. “Do you have anyone else, anything else you can hold onto? That could be your tether if...” 

“If Mark goes feral and the pack bonds break and I can’t feel him anymore?” Maren finished for Ox, letting out a shaky breath. 

Ox didn’t reply, looking down at his feet. At that moment he felt more useless, more like a ‘dumb ox’ than he had in a long time. 

“No bond will ever be as strong as my bond with Mark. There isn’t anyone in the world I will ever love more than him. I’ve felt Mark every day of my life and... “ Maren let out a deep sigh as they ran a hand through their hair, “I’m fucking terrified of the bonds breaking, Ox. Mark’s more than my tether. He’s my anchor. He’s the other half of my heart.”

Ox took Maren’s hand into his. He didn’t know what to say, what to do, really, except send his love for them through their pack bonds. 

“We’ll figure this out, “ Ox said. “We’ll find a way to fix this. We’re the Bennett pack. It’s what we do.”

Maren gave him a tight smile that didn’t meet their eyes. 

“That’s what I’m holding onto to. That we’ll figure this out. That even if the bond—“ Maren swallowed, staring up at the ceiling before continuing. “He’ll still be here. With us. Even if we can’t feel each other. That will have to be enough.”

Ox didn’t want to think about what would happen if they were wrong.


	4. Ravensong: Enough, page 229 to 242

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing! If you've gotten this far, I hope you're like, really enjoying and not like, hate reading or anything. That would be sad.
> 
> Thanks, of course, to Sarah, who I'd have probably died without. Bless you.

[Enough, page 229]

**Carter took a step toward us, still a wolf. His eyes blazed orange. He screwed them shut, and I could** **_feel_ ** **him trying to force his shift, but something was wrong. He opened his eyes again, and for a moment I swore I saw—**

I knew Maren had seen it too as I heard them whine before pressing themselves against their nephew. I heard  _ pup pup pup _ and _ its okay its okay  _ through the bonds we shared.

**Mark appeared, human and kneeling at Ox’s feet. He put his hands on Ox’s shins, forcing them down into the snow. He looked up at me and nodded.**

* * *

[Carter POV]

“Do you remember when we used to sit like this?” Maren asked their nephew. “When you were a little boy? Back in Maine?”

Carter Bennett lay on the couch, his head in the older wolf’s lap, as his mind buzzed painfully. It had only been a few days since the young wolf had been infected but for some reason, he was having a difficult time. He felt like he was losing his mind faster than his uncle was. He had attacked Kelly—his brother, his tether. And that was something Mark would have never done. Not to Maren, his twin, or Gordo, his tether. No matter what. Or maybe Mark was just doing a better job at hiding it. Whatever. At least Mark hadn’t attacked the person he loved the most. Carter wondered if Maren could smell the shame that Carter felt. 

“Do you remember?” Maren asked him again. They stared down at him and he could see the concern in their eyes and the wave of blue that Maren was shielding from fully reaching him. Although he knew they were shielding themself for his benefit, he relished in the feeling of it, the feeling of any emotion, any connection along the bonds of pack. Because he was scared, no, Carter Bennett was terrified of no longer being able to feel those bonds. 

He shifted his head so that he wasn’t looking at Maren as a tear rolled down his cheek. He wasn’t afraid to cry; he wasn’t that sort of guy. But he still didn’t like other people seeing him emotional like this. And he didn’t want Maren to cry either. They had cried too much already, for him, for Mark. He didn’t want them to cry anymore. 

Maren’s hand trailed down his cheek, caressing him softly, and he let out a shaky breath, biting his lip to stop from sobbing. He placed his left hand over his eyes, pressing down on them to stop the tears that wanted to fall. 

“Oh, Carter,” Maren said softly, trying to hide a sniffle. He felt tears fall onto his forehead and he knew that he had made Maren cry too. Damn. 

He was tired of making people cry. His mother. Kelly. Joe when he didn’t think anyone was looking. He remembered the tears that had cascaded down Mark’s cheek after Carter had attacked Kelly. Carter wondered if those tears had been for him or Mark himself. 

“Mari cuddles,” Carter said thickly, finally answering the question Maren had asked earlier. “You hated when I called you that though.”

Maren let out a watery laugh, “I still fucking hate that name.” They brushed Carter’s hair out of his face, running their hand through it. Despite the mess that was their current situation, Carter felt a wave of green run through his mind and damn did that feel nice. He remembered how he would sit on their lap for hours, sometimes as he felt Maren’s mind race, overrun by a thick blue, but also sometimes as they simply wrote their music or played video games. He had learned how to read music that way. 

That had mostly stopped after Joe was taken and had completely stopped by the time they came back to Green Creek. Sometimes Carter had missed those times though. Where he would just lay on Maren’s lap like the world was on pause. 

Carter let out a deep breath, his eyes closed, and he felt Maren’s lips on his forehead. 

“You don’t mind when Mark calls you that.” Carter murmured. 

He felt Maren roll their eyes at him, even though he couldn’t see it. 

“You, are not Mark Bennett,” Maren said, their voice stern and at that moment reminding Carter of his father. He didn’t consider that a bad thing although he thinks Maren probably would. “But you’re Carter Bennett and that’s why I love you.” 

Maren kissed his forehead again. And for the moment, although his head is still buzzing a mile a minute, he felt nothing but green, green, green. 

If only this moment could last. 

* * *

[Enough, page 234]

**His mouth was near my ear when he said, “I wanted to do it. For you. Maybe I would have turned Omega. Maybe not. You were my tether, even then. It might have been enough, but I was too scared to find out.** I was scared and I couldn’t leave Maren.”

I was silent at that as Mark continued. 

“I couldn’t leave them by themselves, or with Thomas and the others. They didn’t understand Maren. They still don’t, not fully, not like I do.” Mark said. “I love you. But I was scared, Gordo. I was scared of what would happen to me and I was scared of what would happen to my twin if I left. But  **you’re my mate, Gordo. Dirt and leaves and rain.”**

**I shuddered against him. “I hate you.”**

* * *

[Enough, page 238]

**Elizabeth sat on the couch, her legs curled up underneath her. Kelly was at her side, pressed shoulder to shoulder. Carter sat at their feet, head tilted back, eyes closed as he breathed in slowly, held it, then let it out through his nose. Kelly’s hand was in his hair.**

Maren sat next to Kelly, their expression tense as they leaned into their nephew’s shoulder. It was times like this I remembered that they had been as much of a parent to the Bennett boys as Elizabeth and Thomas had.

* * *

[Enough, page 239]

**“I didn’t tell any of you about David King until long after he left,” Ox reminded him. “Not yet. Remember?”**

**Joe looked at him, a frown on his face. “That’s not—”**

**“And then when Richard came. He came for me. And I still said nothing.”**

**“That’s because you’re a self-sacrificing asshole,” Rico said. Then, “No offense, alfa. Okay. Maybe some offense.”**

**“You did it because you were trying to keep us safe,” Joe argued. “And even then, Gordo saw right through it.”**

**“Then it’s possible that Gordo was trying to do the same, isn’t it?”**

“For the love of Jesus,” Maren said. It was the first time they’d opened their mouth this entire conversation. “Can we just let Gordo speak?”

**They all looked at me.**

* * *

[Enough, page 242]

**“Why, though?”**

**“Why what?” I asked, watching the massive wolves walk ahead of us, their tails brushing together.**

Maren walked in front of us, the brown wolf twirling their tail back and forth to hit our legs as if to tell us to hurry up. Or maybe they were being nice by telling us they were eavesdropping on Mark and I’s conversation.

**“Why is Robert in your head?”**

**“Because he has boundary issues?”**


	5. Ravensong: Come and Get Me/Tug of War to Imperfect, pages 259 to 279

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've continued to read! Thank you, thank you, thank you! From my bottom of my anxious heart, I thank you!
> 
> And of course, I thank my beta Sarah, for, without her, I wouldn't have been able to split these chapters, ahaha.

[Mark POV during the beginning of Come and Get Me/Tug of War, page 251]

Maren held their hand in Mark’s, holding on so tightly he thought his might break—if they weren’t both werewolves, maybe. They held on as though he would disappear if they let go, as if he would vanish in the blink of an eye. But he held onto theirs just as tightly as Mark’s head buzzed and buzzed and buzzed.

The two of them sat against the door of Maren’s room in silence, facing one of the windows that overlooked the backyard. Kelly and Robbie sat outside, the two of them sitting under the big oak tree, deep in conversation. Carter hovered nearby, pacing in the snow, glaring at Robbie every so often, as though Robbie would up and steal Kelly away. 

“This is happening,” Mark said, his voice eerily calm, somehow able to get the words out of his throat. 

Maren closed their eyes and bit down on their lip, gripping his hand tighter, which Mark hadn’t thought possible.

Mark sighed and after a heartbeat let go of Maren’s hand, ignoring their momentary protest, and put his arm around his younger sibling. He leaned his head against Maren’s shoulder, breathing in and out as the pain in his mind burned. 

“This is happening,” Mark repeated, his voice more shakey this time. “Whether we like it or not, this is happening. And we might not be able to fix it.”

Maren winced at Mark’s words and moved slightly, resting their head against his chest. They opened their eyes. Mark saw Maren’s eyes flashing orange in the mirror that hangs on the wall in front of them, as Maren stared blankly out the window, letting out a deep breath. 

Mark could tell they were trying to keep their emotions under control. He knew Maren was trying extremely hard to prevent their emotions from overwhelming them, overwhelming the pack. He put his head on top of Maren’s.

“I don’t want to lose you, Mark,” Maren murmured, the first time they’d spoken that day, their voice cracking, the pain evident in their voice. “I can’t lose you.”

“Mari….”

Mark felt his heart in his throat and it  _ ached _ . His heart ached nearly as much as his head did. He wished he had the words to say, to make this all better, to make Maren feel better, to make Gordo feel better, to make  _ himself _ feel better. For all of this  _ end _ .

But there weren’t. Because words wouldn’t fix what was happening--what was going to happen. 

All they could do was hold onto each other, hold onto each other and pretend to ignore the bond between them that was breaking apart, shattering like glass, more and more by the moment. 

* * *

[Come and Get Me/Tug of War, page 262]

**“What the fuck is going on?” Carter squeaked, startled out of his shift as he got a face full of tail.**

**“Joe,” Elizabeth said sharply, causing her son to stop before he could reach the timber wolf.**

**“Don’t.”**

**Joe looked surprised as he glanced back at his mother. “But it’s going to hurt him.”**

**“I don’t think it is,” Mark said thoughtfully at my side. “It’s… protecting him.”**

“What the actual fuck?” Maren muttered from Mark’s side. His twin stood in front of both of us as if to protect us. Asshole. I didn’t need Maren to protect me any more than I needed Mark to.

**“From what?” Joe asked.**

* * *

[Imperfect, page 264]

**“What are we going to do?” Mark murmured. He was breathing in and out through his nose, and I knew he was doing it to keep his heart rate slow. I didn’t know if it was working.**

I saw Maren glance over to us where they were watching over Carter with the boys, their eyes fixed on their brother, concerned. A part of me was a little surprised that Maren wasn’t running over here. I guess that meant they trusted me. I didn’t know how I felt about having that trust.

**“We can’t—Ox. There’s a reason packs are kept hidden.”**

* * *

[Imperfect, page 265]

**“You’re scared?” Mark snarled, whirling on the people in the Lighthouse. “You should be. You want to see what you’re so afraid of? Let me show you.”**

**He started to shift.**

“Mark!” I head Maren call out, taking steps towards him, panic evident in their voice. 

**Before I could step forward, Elizabeth was there behind him, hand on his shoulder.**

* * *

[Imperfect, page 266]

**“You stay here with everyone,” Ox told Joe. “Try to keep everyone calm. I’ll take Mark and—”**

Maren was in front of Ox now. “You ain’t taking my brother anywhere without me, Oxnard Matheson.”

Ox sighed. “Maren—look I—“

**And I said, “No.”**

**Ox closed his eyes and sighed. “Gordo, if he’s… if this is him turning, and if it’s like the others, he’ll go after you first. You have to know that.”**

* * *

[Imperfect, page 367]

**“Better you than me,” I muttered, turning and grabbing Mark by the hand. I thought he was going to protest, because he resisted when I tried to pull him away. His gaze was trained on Elizabeth. She smiled at him, though she winced when she did so.**

**“Go,” she said quietly. “I’ll see you soon.”**

**He nodded tightly.**

But before we could go, Maren grabbed my hand and Mark’s. I couldn’t read Maren’s emotions through the pack bonds. I wondered if Mark could. 

“Mari, I—“ Mark began. Maren shook their head before reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. 

“I love you.” They said, their voice steady. “And I will see you later. “

Mark swallowed thickly as he nodded back at his twin. “I’ll see you later.” The words sounded rough in his voice as if he doubted them himself. “I love you.”

I felt uncomfortable as if I should move away, but as I was about to pry myself from Maren’s grasp, they turned, kissing me on the forehead. I must have looked shocked because I heard Mark let out a sharp snort. It was only for a moment, but I still heard it and I relished in it. 

“I trust you,“ Maren said and that meant more than I could ever put into words. Maren was someone quick to care about, but cautious to place faith in people. Richard Collins, if not Abel himself had helped Maren to be this way. And Maren was trusting me with Mark, the person they loved most in the world. “Take care of him. Take care of yourself.” 

I nodded to them and now I could feel the black and blue peeking through the bonds with Maren. But I could also feel them trying their hardest to shield me, Mark, probably the whole pack. I didn’t know how they managed to do it. 

“We’ll see you later,” I said, echoing Maren’s own words. 

They gave me a smile that didn’t quite meet their eyes. They let go of my and Mark’s hands. “ I’ll see you later.” They said again. 

As we left, I heard Maren hum a familiar tune. It was my song. It was my and Mark’s song. It was the composition they had given me the day the Bennett’s left. I wondered if—I glanced at Mark and saw him wipe a tear from his cheek. He remembered it too.

**He let me pull him through the door and out into the snow.**

* * *

[Imperfect, page 279]

**_i was young i was a kid i was a_ **

**_pup_ **

**_i was a pup and my father said he loved me he loved me he loved me_ **

**_he says your brother will be alpha but that doesn’t make you any less special_ **

**_you are good mark you are good you are kind you are loving and wonderful_ **

_ i am a pup and my sister is always at my side but my sister isn’t a sister _

_ but that’s okay because i love  _

_ them _

_ i’ll protect them  _

_ always always always _

**_thomas thomas thomas will be alpha but you will be_ **

**_thomas said richard will be his second_ **

**_not me_ **

**_not me at all_ **

**_i understand_ **

**_don’t i i’m a wolf i’m a good wolf because my daddy said so_ **

**_but thomas is_ **

**_dirt and leaves and rain_ **

**_there is_ **

**_DIRT and LEAVES and RAIN_ **

**_follow_ **

**_save_ **

**_protect_ **

**_i must protect from bad guys_ **

**_bad wolves_ **

and they’re fighting 

back and forth and back and forth. 

so what if mari’s not a girl? 

so what if their brain doesn’t always work right? 

why do they always fight? 

dad

thomas

mar

stop fighting

i don’t like it

**_gordo gordo gordo gordo and it’s_ **

**_gone it’s all gone everything is gone because everything is blue_ **

**_i could hear them_ **

**_they were screaming_ **

**_the pups the pups were screaming saying no please no please no daddy daddy daddy_ **

**_hurts it hurts oh my god it hurts_ **

**_where where where is gordo where is_ **

**_DIRT and LEAVES and RAIN and and and_ **


	6. Ravensong: Open the Door/ Make Them Pay, page 288 to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are Mark and Maren giving you emotions yet? I hope so if you've been reading THIS FAR. Thank you for reading this far btw. It makes me feel SO HAPPY
> 
> And of course, Thanks Sarah, my beta. ily to the moon and back.
> 
> Also: CW for light accidental? Self-harm during the first scene

[Ox POV after Open the Door/ Make Them Pay, page 288]

Ox left the older Bennett brothers, Gordo, and Elizabeth outside as he entered the house at the end of the lane, his second unconscious on his back. 

He hated this. He hated every single bit of this. He wanted Mark to be able to fucking be happy with Gordo. He wanted Carter to be able to threaten Robbie for Kelly’s honor. He wanted his pack to be healthy and whole and maybe he was a simple man, but he couldn’t understand why that had to be so goddamn hard. 

Ox walked into the living room and was caught by an onslaught of deep, deep blue mixed with intense black and spots of violet. He looked over to see Maren in the corner of the room, their fists clenched so tightly that blood ran down their hands. Ox could see that Maren was checked out, alone in their own world that was completely overwhelming. And the one person who could always help them was turning feral. And Maren was feeling the bond shatter more and more by the moment. 

Ox shut his eyes for just a moment, trying to find his way back to his own calm before he was going to get Maren’s attention. 

The door banged shut and for once Ox was grateful that the loud noise spooked Maren. Maren flinched at the sound, but it helped them to realize that Ox and Mark were in the room. 

Maren’s eyes widened at the sight of Mark unconscious on Ox’s back. 

“M-Mark,” Maren choked out and tears fell down their already tear-soaked cheeks. They went to take a step towards Ox and Mark before they hesitated, making eye contact with Ox as if to ask permission. 

God, it killed Ox to see Maren look so...broken. Like they could fall apart at any moment. As though they were a second away from turning into a wolf and never coming back. Ox didn’t have any siblings, much less a twin, so he didn’t know the exact pain that Maren felt. He selfishly thought he was lucky in that way. 

He nodded and Maren walked toward them, the cuts from where they had dug their nails into their hands already healed, although the dried blood remained. 

Maren cupped Mark’s cheek where his head hung from Ox’s shoulder. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” Maren murmured like a mantra. As if love was enough to fix this entire mess. Ox wished it was.

Maren leaned their head against Mark’s for a heartbeat, two, three, as tears continued to rush down the younger twin’s cheeks, the blue radiating off them in waves that made Ox want to fall to his knees, waves that might have made him fall if he wasn’t an Alpha, he thought. 

There were a million things Maren could have said to their brother. But nothing felt good enough. Nothing would clear away the pain that was overwhelming them. 

“This is happening,” Maren said, echoing their brother’s words from earlier the day before. “This is really happening.”

It was then when Joe and Jessie came up from the basement. Ox saw Joe nudge Jessie from the room, clearly concerned about her and Mark being in the same room, and this time she listened without a word, shooting Ox, Mark, and Maren a sympathetic look heading back downstairs. 

Joe cleared his voice, doing his best to keep the pain and sadness out from his voice, for his own benefit or the others, Ox wasn’t sure. “The silver. It’s ready.”

Ox thought Maren would argue. He was certainly ready for it. But Maren just shut their eyes closed tightly, digging their fingers into their hands again. 

Joe came over to them then, ready to take Maren’s hand, when Ox felt Mark twitch, his hand grasping Maren’s. 

“S’okay, Mari,” Mark murmured. “S’okay.” 

Maren whined, a noise that sounded more wolf than person, and took a step back, but not letting go of their twin’s hand. 

Ox felt a tear slip down his own cheek as he felt the blue, blue, blue. Whether it was from the twins, or Joe, or himself, or all of them, he wasn’t sure. 

“Let me down, Ox,” Mark said. He let out a shaky breath, trying to calm himself. 

Ox and Joe both hesitated. 

“I’m walking myself down those stairs,” Mark said, his voice more steady this time. “I have to do this.”

Ox looked at Joe and the two shared a silent moment before nodding. Ox bent down and slowly Mark got off Ox’s back and to his feet with Maren’s assistance. 

Mark closed his eyes, letting out two sharp, deep breaths, his hand tightly clasped in Maren’s, before he opened them, an ice blue instead of an orange or violet. Ox wondered how long this would last. 

Mark took the first steps toward the basement, Maren trailing behind him, deep breaths with every step. Ox and Joe were right behind them and Ox could feel the black fear over the group. He tried to send out a calming green and Joe squeezed his hand. 

Ox saw Mark freeze at the slight of Pappas, could feel the fear overwhelming him when Joe put his hand on his uncle’s shoulder. 

“It’ll be okay, Uncle Mark,” Joe said, his voice somehow steady and clear like he truly believed it and God, more than anything Ox wanted those words to be true. More than anything. 

Ox saw a tear fall down Mark’s cheek as the man let go of his twin’s hand and he embraced his nephew. 

“Of course it will,” Mark muttered into his Alpha’s shoulder. “You’re my Alpha after all ” 

Ox felt Joe’s heart skip a beat at that, and felt a wave of green and blue mixed together pass through his mate. 

Ox watched Mark let go of his nephew and began to walk toward one of the open rings of silver. As he reached the opening, Maren took his hand again. 

He let out a deep breath as he pulled Maren close to him. Ox knew Mark would do anything to chase the look of utter heartbreak off his twin’s face, to stop the tears running down both their faces. 

“I love you,” Mark murmured into Maren’s hair. “No matter what happens, no matter what I—“ his voice stuttered before he calmed himself enough to finish “I become. I will always love you, Maren.”

“We’ll fix this,” Ox heard Maren mutter. “I promise. I promise. I promise. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Their voice broke and the twins held onto each other for dear life, like the other would disappear if they stopped, Maren’s hand over their brother’s neck where a raven was etched in his skin. It was enough to make Ox want to look away like he was invaliding a moment he shouldn’t be a part of.

Mark let go of Maren after another moment and stepped into the silver ring, nodding at Ox. 

“Take care of them, Ox,” Mark said before looking over to Jessie who had been observing the four of them and nodding for her to close the circle. “All of them.”

Ox wasn’t sure if he was talking about Maren, or Maren and Joe, or maybe the whole pack, but he nodded. “I will. Always. You know that.”

As Jessie closed the circle, Mark sat down, Ox mirroring his second’s actions as Joe held onto Maren. 

“I do know that, Ox. I’ve always known that.” Mark said.

He closed his eyes.

* * *

[Open the Door/ Make Them Pay, page 294]

**And Mark. Always Mark. He sat nude in the middle of the floor, eyes closed. He was awake, and his hands were on his knees, digging into his skin. The raven on his throat fluttered every time he swallowed. Ox was crouched on the other side of the line of silver before him, watching him intently.**

Maren stood in the corner, glancing over at Mark and Joe and Ox. Listening but not saying anything. They didn’t make eye contact with any of them, or me. As if they caught any of our eyes, they would lose it—and they were already shielding as much as they could, I could feel that now, through our pack bonds. But even with Maren’s shielding, I could feel the black and blue and violet. But so, so much blue. I couldn’t blame them. I felt the same.

**Joe touched Ox’s shoulder, causing him to look back. He stood as I approached, nodding toward Mark. “It’s like it was with Pappas,” he said quietly. “The lull before….”**

* * *

[Open the Door/Make Them Pay, page 296]

**“I don’t need you.”**

**He rushed forward, and I had to fight to keep from flinching. “Why!” he shouted at me. “Why! Why!” Each why was punctuated with a fist against the barrier.**

I heard Maren whine into Ox’s shoulder. I didn’t know if they’d ever trust me again after this. But we didn’t have a choice. 

**I stood slowly.**

* * *

[Open the Door/Make Them Pay, page 296]

**The ice-blue was gone.**

**All that was left was violet.**

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Maren crumble to the ground as they let out a howl that sounded more wolf than person. Joe’s arms were wrapped around Maren as the room was nothing but an ocean of blue, drowning us all.

**“What are you doing?” Ox asked me angrily. “What the hell are you doing, Gordo?”**

* * *

[Scatter, page 298]

**Ox hadn’t moved, and I could feel him staring at the back of my head. Jumbled emotions poured through the bonds between us. He was angry with me and saddened at the sight before him. But he knew me, knew I wouldn’t do what I’d done without a reason. He was still holding on, still trusting me, and I hoped it was enough.**

Maren refused to even look at me and I didn’t blame them. I knew the trust between us was probably damaged now, if not gone. I tried not to let that bother me. 

They were sitting by Kelly now, their fingers running through their nephew’s hair, but their gaze completely transfixed on Mark, only Mark. 

I could feel the anguish coming off the older wolf in waves, the blue crashing with violet and black, no green in sight. I could, and I’m sure the rest of the pack could as well, feel Maren trying to reach out to their brother. A steady  _ markmarkmarkmark _ through the bonds. I wondered if he could actually feel it, the bonds as close to shattering as they were. 

They looked as though they would burst out of their skin at any moment. I wouldn’t be surprised if they shifted soon. Whether they shifted back would be a different story. 

**“They’re here,” Ox said, and a moment later, there came the sound of a door being thrown open at the front of the house. Footsteps thundered overhead, heading toward the stairs. Ox’s eyes flared brightly. “But not all of them. Something’s wrong.”**

* * *

[Scatter, page 300]

**Kelly scoffed. “You forced him to turn Omega. You told him to let go. How the hell can you say that you—”**

**Elizabeth said, “Kelly.”**

At the same that Maren said, “Stop.” Tears were falling down down their cheeks again and Robbie gripped Maren tighter, still looking like he wanted to reach out to Kelly, but hesitating.

**Kelly subsided, though he still looked murderous. I hoped he would forgive me for what I was about to do. “Why?”**

**I swallowed thickly. “You know why.”**

**“Not good enough,” she said, and oh, she was angry.**

* * *

[Scatter, page 304]

**Kelly glanced at Robbie, scandalized, before turning back to his brother. “You promise?”**

**“That he sniffs you? Yeah, man. He does it—”**

**“Carter.”**

**Carter’s expression softened. “Yeah, Kelly. I promise. I’ll always come back for you.”**

Maren spoke up then, clearing their voice. “Kelly, look at me.” Their voice was rough, like getting any words out was difficult. “On a scale of one to ten, how much do you think I wanna drop Gordo Livingstone on his fucking ass?”

I choked. Robbie gasped at them and for a second I saw Carter’s eyes light up a bit. 

“Ren,” Robbie said in disbelief. 

“About a twelve,” Maren answered for their nephew. I wondered if I should take a step back. “But I also trust him—“

“How? “ Kelly asked in disbelief. 

“Because he’s the only one Mark has ever loved as much as Mark loves me. And he’s the only other person who’s loved Mark as much as I do. “ They stared at me when they said that, and I dropped my eyes, unable to let Maren see the tears that I was trying furiously not to let fall. 

“And I know how much you and Carter love each other, my small one.” Kelly let out a sniffle at being called that and Robbie took his hand. 

“It’s not all that different than me and Mark. You might not be twins, but that doesn’t matter. “

I looked up and saw Maren’s gaze, our eyes meeting. “I still trust you,” They said to me. “Even though I wanna kill you right now for the bullshit you pulled. But I know you wouldn’t have done it unless there was no other choice.”

Maren looked at Mark, his eyes violet and in half shift as he paced back and forth in the circle of silver. He growled as he made eye contact with Maren and another set of tears dripped down their cheeks. 

“So you will fix this, Gordo Livingstone. I trust you to bring Mark and Carter back to us.” Their gaze was back on me, intense like a fire. “Otherwise I’ll kill you myself.” 

“Maren.” Joe’s voice was firm and steady, his eyes blazing red, as he said his uncle’s name. 

I ignored him. 

“I’ll let you,” I said. 

The room was silent. 

**“Elizabeth?” Ox asked.**

**She stood in front of her brother-in-law. He was almost against the barrier, growling lowly. He tapped his claws against his bare legs. The raven on his throat twitched with the tensing of his neck muscles. He watched her with violet eyes.**

* * *

[Scatter, page 314]

**Mark was last. The muscles under his skin shifted with every step he took. His claws dug into the wood of the porch as he stood above us. His eyes never left me, always watching. Waiting. I wondered if I were to push the hair around his throat away if there would still be a raven there, hidden away. I wasn’t going to take the chance of trying to look, as he seemed confused as to whether he wanted to rub against me or kill me.**

Maren stood with him and I could feel them trying to curtail the anger they felt at the entire situation. They held onto his fur, holding onto him for dear life, as though he could disappear in an instant. I didn't want to think about the storm that their mind must have been in right now.

**Two of us were missing.**

**But we would get them back.**

**The hunters had made a mistake in coming here.**


	7. Ravensong: Heart Your Voice to Moon, page 317 to 352

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On we go! We're almost towards the end! Thank you again for reading thus far and let me know what you think!
> 
> Again, much love Sarah. So much.

[Heart Your Voice, page 317]

**The woman said, “Look. Oh my god, look.”**

**I followed her trembling finger.**

**She was pointing at the wolves behind us. They stood in a row, almost shoulder to shoulder. Joe was the farthest left, teeth bared. Elizabeth was on the right, and her ears were flat against her head.**

Maren was at Elizabeth’s side and I could feel a bright red rush through the bond. They wanted blood and they weren’t going to hide that fact. Not me. Not from the rest of the pack. 

**And between them were Mark and Carter, eyes Omega-bright.**

**Behind them, the feral timber wolf prowled back and forth, dwarfing them all.**

* * *

[Heart Your Voice, page 329]

**Robbie nodded frantically. “Great, that’s great, that’s—”**

**“Kid, you need to calm down. Take a breath. We’re fine. We’re all—”**

**He surprised me by leaping forward and throwing his arms around me. I grunted at the impact, and Mark snapped at him, fangs flashing but not actually sinking into skin.**

Maren snarled at their brother, pushing him to the side and smacking him in the nose with their tail. He growled at them but calmed almost instantly.

**“I’m glad you’re okay,” he whispered into my neck.**

**I rolled my eyes and wrapped my good arm around his back. Kid was soft. “Yeah, yeah. Enough with the feelings, all right? We’ve got bigger things to worry about.”**

**He stepped back, and his eyes were orange.**

**“We’re going after her, aren’t we? Eventually.” He wasn’t talking about Elijah.**

**“Yeah. We are. You going to be okay with that?”**

**He didn’t hesitate. “This is my home. This is my pack. I’ll do whatever it takes.”**

**I reached up and squeezed the back of his neck. “We’re lucky to have you, Robbie. Even if you insist on wearing those fucking glasses.”**

**He grinned at me.**

Robbie then looked at Mark and Maren, Maren pressed against their twin, Mark’s gaze fixed on me, but his tail was intertwined with his twin’s. 

“Ren? You gonna shift back?” Robbie asked the smaller of the brown wolves. 

Maren growled softly at the young man, stretching themselves out in the snow before sitting up and licking his hand. 

I felt  _ PackSonPackSonPack _ through the bonds of pack and Robbie bent down to kiss the top of Maren’s head. They whuffed, and I could feel the green coming off both of them. 

“Don’t pressure them,” I told Robbie. “It’s easier to deal with everything as a wolf. Maren has a rough time when things aren’t going to shit.”

Robbie rolled his eyes at me as if he didn’t know Maren as well as I did. 

“I know that,” Robbie said. He paused for a moment as if to gather the right words. “It’s just. It’s strange. How Ren deals with things. That’s all.”

I clasped Robbie on the shoulder. Mark growled and I rolled my eyes at him and Maren as they huffed at him. 

“Congratulations,” I said. “You’re a Bennett. We’re all strange. “

Robbie smiled at that and I enjoyed the rush of green that I felt rush through the younger man. 

We watched Maren lay in the snow, huffing until Mark joined them, Mark’s gaze never leaving me. Robbie sighed in relief and I could tell he too felt the green coming from Maren. 

“Do you think Maren feels more connected to Mark?” Robbie asked me. “As a wolf I mean? Like maybe the bond is stronger?” 

I shrugged. Maybe. Although I honestly didn’t know. “Might just be that it’s easier to pretend it’s not falling apart. I dunno.” 

Robbie was silent as we watched the twin wolves. There was nothing more we could do. 

* * *

[Pack, page 334]

**I sighed. “Fine. I won’t be that guy. But never again can you tell me to stop being an asshole when the both of you are just as bad. Especially you, Elizabeth. I don’t know why more people can’t see how much of a bastard you are.”**

**She snorted.**

**Mark pawed at the snow.**

Maren licked my cheek. 

I scowled at them all.

**I reached up to rub a hand over my face, only to remember at the last second that the hand was gone.**

**“Fuck,” I muttered hoarsely.**

**_gordo gordo gordo_ **

**“It’s not—”**

**_BrotherLovePack_ **

_ and _

_ PackIdiotBrother _

**“It’s not going to be the same. None of this will be.”**

**Mark nosed at my stump.**

Maren nuzzled my side.

**Elizabeth crowded closer.**

**“I’m going to need you,” I said, and it was easier than I expected it to be. I didn’t know why I couldn’t see that before. “I’m going to need all of you.”**

**_yes yes yes yes_ **

_ with you with you with you always _

**_gordo gordo gordo_ **

**“Okay. Okay. We’ll—”**

**It came then.**

**A surge that rolled through us.**

**The strength of our Alphas.**

**It was time.**

* * *

[Pack. Page 342]

**I looked up at Mark. He was watching me. His eyes were still violet, but he wasn’t struggling with his shift. “How are you doing this?”**

**It looked like it cost him greatly to speak. His words were rough. “You. You. It was you. Pack. Strong.Helped us. Gordo safe. Keep Gordo safe.”**

**“Yeah. Okay. Safe. We’re safe.”**

Maren” Mark growled, glancing over to the entrance of the garage, as if he was waiting for his twin to appear. 

“They’re dealing with some pent up anger and clearing out more hunters. They’ll be here.” Elizabeth said, about to bend down to break the chains holding Tanner. 

“Better the hunters than Gordo.” Chris joked. 

Mark growled, tightening his grip on me, and I shot Chris a dirty look. 

“Not the time.” I hissed at Chris. 

Chris tried to shrug his shoulders and hissed in pain.

**Tanner cried out as Elizabeth broke the manacles around his wrists. She held him against her as he cradled his arm, her hand on the back of his head, fingers in his hair as he sobbed. “I’ve got you,” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”**

It was then that Maren entered the garage, still a large brown wolf. Their fur, especially their muzzle, was matted with blood. I couldn’t help but think Chris had been right, better them than me, although I reasonably knew Maren would never harm me. 

They caught sight of Mark, or maybe it was Chris and Tanner, and Maren shook some of the blood off their fur and immediately shifted. I expected them to run to Mark, I think he did too by the way he loosened his grip on me slightly, but Maren ran to Chris and Tanner first, bending down to take Tanner from Elizabeth, holding him tightly. 

For a moment I swore I thought I heard the word  _ Mate _ pass through the bonds of pack, as I saw Maren put their nose to Tanner’s neck. But that wasn’t possible, was it? 

“You two are the biggest idiots I have ever had the misfortune of knowing,” Maren said to Tanner and Chris, all bark and no bite. Maren looked up at Mark and smiled at him sadly. “I’m sorry. Make that three.” 

He let out a low growl at Maren and Maren gently let go of Tanner to approach Mark. They reached up and ran their hand over his face. He seemed to tremble for a moment, closing his eyes and breathing deeply, taking in his twin’s scent.

**“Gordo,” Chris said, “you gotta help them. She’s going to—” He grimaced, turning his head and spitting a thick wad of blood onto the ground. “Elijah. She’s not going to let anyone go. She knows. About the Lighthouse. We saw her. Packing it. Wearing it. Gordo, she’s got a bomb strapped to her chest. And it’s filled with silver. Ball bearings. It’s—”**

**_After your pack is dead and the fire of God has cleansed this place from evil, I will return and wash them of their sins. It has been made abundantly clear that nothing in Green Creek must remain as it is. I don’t know how it was done, but Omegas have overrun this territory. It will need to be cleansed. The people here cannot be saved. I see that now. I will deal with them myself._ **

**“Jessie,” I breathed. “Rico.”**

**Elizabeth moved in front of Chris. “I will stay with them. Gordo, you need to get to the Lighthouse before it’s too late.”**

At the same time, Maren moved to break the chains holding Chris. They caught him as he crumbled to the ground. 

They hesitated, feeling conflicted about whether to follow me and Mark or stay here. 

“You should go,” Tanner said to them. There were tears still running down his cheeks, but he had mostly calmed down. “We’ll be safe here.”

They look at me and I shrugged. It was their decision, not mine. They looked at Mark than at Chris, Tanner, and Elizabeth, before nodding at me. 

“I’m coming with you.” They said finally, before immediately shifting back into a large brown wolf. 

They patted to Tanner’s side, Maren licking at Tanner’s arm, as I looked over to Mark. 

**His eyes were blazing, I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to his. “Are you with me?”**

**His breath was hot against my face. “Gordo.”**

* * *

[Moon, page 417]

**From out of the trees stepped Robbie Fontaine, shifted and tense, followed by a small group of Omegas.**

**He came to me and pressed his nose against my hip. He huffed out a breath, leaving his scent upon me. I ran my hand between his ears. He leaned into the touch.**

Before he moved to press himself against Maren. I could he was concerned about the amount of blood on them, but the matter at hand was more important.

**There was a question sent, and I said, “We have to move. She’s going to hurt everyone.”**

* * *

[Moon, page 352]

**“I told you two to stay in the truck,” Elizabeth scolded Chris and Tanner as they approached. Chris looked worse than before, and Tanner’s face was pale as he held his arm against his chest. “You can’t be moving around much until we get your injuries checked out.”**

**“Oh, man,” Chris said. “Please tell me my sister’s okay and that she didn’t hear me bitch about the bar before I asked about her well-being.”**

Maren, still a wolf, made their way beside Chris and Tanner, rubbing against them both as they looked up at me and Mark. Even as a wolf, Maren looked tired. I could relate.

**“Every word,” another voice said. “When you get healed up again, I’m going to kick your ass.”**


	8. Ravensong: Ravensong to Epilogue, page 355

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is end (for the Ravensong events that I have written as of 1/18/2020). Thank you so much for reading this far. It means so, so much to me and I honestly can't thank you enough, so I won't. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who encouraged, and loved, and supported me, because otherwise this would still be hiding in my google docs and in RAO. So thank you. Thank you all so, so much, and I hope you decide to read more about Maren when I post other works!
> 
> Blessings and love to yall, always.
> 
> Thanks again especially to my beta, Sarah. ily.

[Gordo POV, prior to the Ravensong chapter]

I was sitting on the porch of the house at the end of the lane, Mark at my feet, when I heard the front door open from behind me. The large brown wolf that had been dozing at my feet lifted his head to growl softly at the person who’d opened the door. I turned to see who it was.

Robbie stood at the doorway, those damn glasses I loved and hated on his face, his hands in his pockets. 

Mark growled a bit louder this time and I tapped him lightly on the nose. 

“Oh stop that,” I ordered my mate. “It’s just Robbie.”

Mark grunted, settling back down as I put my good hand– my only hand, now, I tried not to let that sting– over the top of his head. 

“You looking for Maren?” I asked him.

It had been nearly five weeks now since Elijah had been killed. Five weeks since Mark and shifted back into a wolf. And about four and a half weeks since his twin had had a meltdown after a nightmare they’d refused to speak about, shifting into a wolf instead. 

Maren had bolted into the woods and it had taken Mark leading me and Robbie to the grotto I hadn’t been in since I was a child to find them. It had taken both Mark and Robbie to eventually nudge Maren to leave. 

But since that night, Maren had refused to shift back into a human, no matter how much anyone begged them too, not Kelly, not Ox, not even Robbie. Maren spent most of their time with me and Mark. Other times Robbie. Less often, with Kelly or Carter– and surprisingly often with Tanner. I still wondered what the fuck was going on there. But as always, Maren was most comfortable with Mark, even if the bonds between them were damaged to hell.

Currently, they were with Carter and Kelly and the Timber wolf now. I could hear the four wolves at the edge of the forest, Maren chasing after their nephews as the timber wolf looking onward. I was surprised Robbie wasn’t with them.

Robbie shook his head at my question.

“No, I thought –” Robbie started then cut himself off before speaking again. “ Can I talk to you?”

He sounded serious and I raised my eyebrows at him. 

“About?”

Robbie glanced at Mark, whose tail twitched back and forth, his eyes still closed.

“Maren,” The young man said.

Mark’s eyes opened then, looking at Robbie, his eyes a bright violet. 

I sighed. I knew what he wanted to talk about. I knew how much he wanted Maren to shift back. I understood his concern– I was too. But this was how some wolves coped. This was how Maren in particular coped. It was how Elizabeth had coped all those years ago when Thomas had died. 

And Maren had faced a loss too; their bond with Mark was so damaged, so broken, I couldn’t fathom what that felt to Maren, who had always been hypersensitive to pack bonds. And their bond with Mark was one they had relied on for over forty years. 

I understood Maren. But I also understood Robbie’s concern. I could feel the fear coming off Robbie in waves that he tried not to let show. He was scared for the person he considered his parent. He was scared they would be lost, maybe turn Omega. I understood that. I didn’t think that would happen, but I understood his fear. 

I put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. We stood there for a moment, two, three.

“I’ll try talking to Maren,” I said finally. “Go and get some rest. You look half-dead, kid.”

And he did. He looked fucking exhausted. He’d been working long hours at the shop, filling in for me, helping where he could. He had also been taking care of Kelly and Maren, keeping an eye on both of them who were dealing with the stress on their connections with their tethers. 

Although... I wondered about Maren. I wondered if Mark was still their tether after what had happened.

Robbie smiled at me, a smile that tried to reach his eyes until he yawned. “Thank you, Gordo.”

I let go of his shoulder and he bent down, resting his hand on Mark’s head. Mark whuffed at him, nudging the younger man’s hand. Robbie sighed as he reentered the house, glancing back once to look at the forest where Maren and Kelly were.

I sighed, sitting back in the chair. Mark put his head in my lap and I ran my hand through his fur. Fucking Bennetts were gonna drive me to drink. 

–––––––

Maren padded up to the house not long after Robbie returned inside. Mark was lying by the side of the chair as I smoked. I put the cigarette out as Maren came closer, knowing how it bothered them, even more so as a wolf. 

Maren pressed their nose to Mark’s side and he nuzzled them. Maren specifically didn’t look at his eyes, looking up at me instead, as though they knew I wanted to talk to them. Or maybe they just didn’t want to see the violet in Mark’s eyes. 

I sighed. I didn’t know if Maren would listen to me. They hadn’t listened to anyone so far. But I’d promised I’d try 

I had a brown wolf at each of my sides, Mark bigger than Maren, as he always was. I thought about the worry that was coming off Robbie and I knew that Maren could feel it through the bonds of pack as well, even if they were trying to ignore it and I felt a burst of… I’m not sure what. Maybe it was annoyance, maybe it was anger, at Maren, for making the kid feel this way. 

Maren whined and I ran my hand through their long brown fur.

“Enough’s enough, Mar,” I said, my voice was stern, almost cold. But they needed a wake-up call. “I know it hurts. I know I don’t understand the amount of pain you’re in. What the bond with Mark feels like now, not the same way you do. But Robbie is hurting, Mar. He’s hurting because he’s trying to take care of you and Kelly and you’re not making this easy on the kid. He’s scared, Maren. He’s scared for you. I know you can feel that, even if you’re trying not too.”

Maren snarled at me, pushing my hand away. I felt a burst of violet on top of their ever-present blue, as their fur bristled. The wolf looked as though it wanted to snap at me. I wasn’t concerned but Mark growled at them, moving towards them, one of his paws raised like he was going to fight them. 

“Hey!” I shouted, raising my voice at my mate. I pushed him away from Maren. “I can take care of myself, thank you very much, asshole. Cut the shit, Mark.”

He growled at me, but he backed down. I didn’t think Mark would hurt Maren, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I loved him, but he was still an Omega. He’d never forgive himself if he hurt them. 

I groaned as I kneel down, becoming eye level with Maren. Mark was directly behind me and I reached back to tap him on the nose when he growled again. 

“Stop,” I said shortly, glaring at him, before bringing my attention back to Maren. Their fur still bristled, their tail in between legs. I could feel their anxiety through our pack bonds. 

I reached out with my left hand, running through their fur. I felt bursts of green run through Maren.

“I’m not mad at you. Neither is Robbie. Or Mark,” The brown wolf behind me growled softly and I rolled my eyes. “But you’ve gotta stop running, Mar. You have to face the truth, no matter how much it hurts.”

Maren whined as they rubbed their face against mine. I heard  _ PackGordoBrotherLove _ and I felt the black-blue, blue-black coming from Maren. I sighed. The truth hurt but the time had come. Enough was enough.

“You need to shift back and you need to face the facts,” I said, my voice was gentle, but stern. “Mark isn’t your tether anymore.” I sighed. “And Robbie is, isn’t he?”

Maren let out a short howl, lowering themselves to the ground in front of me. Mark came out from behind me, licking his twin’s side, no longer concerned about them hurting me, I guessed, and Maren leaned into him. I ran my hand over the top of Maren’s head, moving to sit cross-legged on the porch. 

“Why do you keep running? Why do you keep hiding? It’s got to stop, Mar.” I felt almost like a hypocrite saying that to them, especially after how I’d dealt with everything with Mark, how I waited until it was nearly too late. But I threw that to the back of my mind right now. This wasn’t about me and Mark. This was about Maren. 

Maren let out another howl, trying to bury themselves into Mark’s side again. But this time the larger brown wolf growled at them, nudging them away from him. 

Maren whined again, but Mark’s eyes blazed violet as he stared at his twin intensely. I knew he was doing the best he could to help, considering he was an Omega. The smaller brown wolf howled, but to my absolute surprise Maren shifted from wolf to person again, although it was a slow and painful process after weeks as a wolf. 

Tears fell down Maren’s cheeks and Mark leaned down, licking their face. Maren put their arms around their brother as they sobbed. I reached out and touched the side of their face, running my hand down it gently. 

“I’m scared, Gordo.” Maren’s words were rough after weeks of disuse. “I’m– I’m scared of burdening him– Robbie. I’m scared of losing Robbie too.”

It was then that the front door burst open and Robbie Fontaine basically threw his arms around the crying Beta. There was a deep blue coming from the man, but there was green too. So much. Honestly, I felt relieved myself. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Ren. You’re not a burden,” Robbie said, as Maren leaned into their son. “I promise.” 

Robbie was intensely serious when he said that, but he looked like he was going to cry. “You’re my parent, okay? You’re my family. I’m not gonna go anywhere. ”

Maren sobbed louder when they heard him say that and they kissed him on the cheek, holding him tightly. 

Mark nudged my arm, my handless arm, and I swung it over his shoulders, putting my weight on him. 

The four of us were quiet for a time, Robbie and Maren still crying, as I leaned against my mate, when I reached out with my good arm and took Maren’s hand. They moved next to me, taking Robbie with them. At that moment, I felt more content than I had in a long time. 

Maren sniffled and coughed, clearing their voice. Someone really should get them some water. Not me though, I had done my part for the day, thank you very much. 

“I’m glad you guys are here,” Maren said. They wiped tears from their eyes as Mark moved to lay down in front of me instead of at my side. Maren looked directly at me as they laid down against Mark. “ I’m glad you’re here, Gordo. I’m glad you’re part of my pack again.”

I turned my head away from them, not wanting to let them see me get emotional. But I knew all of them, all three of them could feel my blue-green through our bonds, whether they be the bonds of pack, or mate, or both. I saw Robbie smirk out of the corner of my eye and I resisted the urge to give him the finger.

“You’re all assholes,” I said, sniffling quietly. “Fucking assholes who drive me to drink.”

“We love you too, Gordo,” said Robbie, a wolfish grin on his face. Maren smiled at me, tears finally dried, as they ran their hand through Mark’s fur. 

And Mark barked sharply as I felt  _ gordogordogordo _ in my head. I laid down by his side as well, breathing him in. 

Fucking Assholes. Fucking assholes that I loved so god damn much. 

* * *

[Ravensong, page 360]

**Ox and Joe led the way, their pack moving behind them. Omegas crawled through the trees, trailing behind their Alpha.**

**Mark was at my side. Always.**

And Maren was at his, more often than not. Although they were human, no longer a wolf. They had stayed human since they’d finally turned back. For Robbie, they had said. They didn’t want to worry their son anymore than they already had, they told me.

**The trees gave way to a clearing. There, waiting for us, were witches.**

* * *

[Ravensong, page 369]

**I sat up quickly. “Did it work? Did it work? Where is he? Oh god, please tell me where he—”**

**“Gordo.”**

**I turned my head.**

**Mark Bennett was sitting a few feet away, Jessie crouched in front of him.**

Maren was in his arms. They were shaking. They both were. But they weren’t crying for once.

**My breath hitched.**

**He was here.**

**He was really here.**

**I was moving even before I gave it much thought. I needed to be as close to him as I could.**

I saw Maren let go of their brother and I never felt more grateful.

**He wrapped his arms around me as I crashed into him, and his breath was warm in my ear when he said, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” and I heard the wolfsong and the ravensong rising through us, etching themselves into our skin.**

* * *

[Epilogue, page 373]

**“You know, with all the things you’ve threatened to shove in me, it’s a wonder Mark doesn’t get more jealous.”**

**I turned slowly back to look at him.**

I wondered how long it would take Maren to forgive me if I set their son on fire. I almost considered it.

**He blanched. “Um. I didn’t say anything. Ignore me. Go about your business.” The phone rang. “Thank you, Jesus.” He picked up the phone. “Gordo’s, this is Robbie speaking, how can I help you?”**

* * *

[Epilogue, page 375]

**Mark would run, and I’d be there waiting for him when he got back.**

**I’d lose myself in my head, and he’d be there to pull me close.**

And there were days when the pack needed us too. When everything had been too much and someone was tired and overwhelmed. There were days when Maren would wake up screaming, screaming for Mark and he would bolt to them, an instinct– because for him it was. And there were days were Maren would do the same and the twins would just… be. Together, like the bonds between them didn’t feel like shattering glass. 

**Rarely did our bad days coincide. But when they did, it felt chaotic. Wild. Both of us were dangerously close to being feral.**

* * *

[Epilogue, page 377]

**I gently took it out of the box. It was heavy and ornately carved. The tail was long and thin, and the head was cocked, the wolf’s lips curved as if it was smiling secretly.**

**“Yeah,” I told him, because he needed to hear it said out loud. “I’ll take it.”**

**He tackled me onto the bed.**

**Outside, I could hear Carter and Kelly shouting in joy.**

I heard Maren sniffle. But for once, they were happy tears.

**And in the distance, the howling of wolves.**


	9. Lovesong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's read this. I honestly don't have the words to explain how much everyone's love as meant to me. This is the end of the Ravensong scene collection for now! Hopefully, more scenes will be added in another reread (closer to August when Brothersong comes out). Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> As always, Bold type words indicate TJ's words, *not my own words*. They're just to give you context of what's going on in the scene.

[Chapter:xxviii]

**There is an ending.**

**But it only leads to a new beginning.**

**They are now at war.**

**Robert Livingstone will rise.**

**Michelle Hughes has made her choice.**

**And the Bennett pack will answer in kind.**

**She watches from the porch of the house at the end of the lane as the Omegas gather nervously, looking frightened and unsure.**

Elizabeth can hear Maren from inside the house. They’re getting off a call with one of the people they work with. She can hear a male’s voice over Maren’s compositions. Elizabeth thinks it sounds beautiful, so glad to hear music coming from Maren’s room once again. 

**Carter grumbles when the timber wolf follows him wherever he goes, growling at anyone who tries to come close. She wonders how long it’ll take for him to figure it out. She laughs when Carter snaps at the wolf, telling it to fuck off. The wolf ignores her son as it presses up against him. Carter doesn't push it away.**

* * *

[Cahpter: xxix.]

**“You like having sleepovers,” Robbie tells him. “Even though you complain and make that face and—”**

**“I will light you on fire,” Gordo threatens. “And break your fucking glasses.”**

“I dare you to try,” Maren says over from the side of Mark. “I will kick your ass.”

“I will light you both on fire,” Gordo says. 

Mark rolls his eyes at both of them. 

**“All bark and no bite,” Mark says, kissing the side of his head.** “Both of you,” taking his twin’s hand into his. 

**Gordo rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue further.**

**Ox and Joe are in the middle. Their hearts are beating in sync, and it flows through all of them. Elizabeth is beginning to drift off when—**

* * *

[Addendum] 

Elizabeth was in the kitchen getting ready to start dinner while Maren sat at the kitchen table, the younger working on something. Elizabeth wasn’t sure exactly what they were working on, but it didn’t seem to be a new composition. Textbooks and papers were strewn all over the table and Maren kept growling at their laptop. 

Elizabeth could feel the musician’s irritation through the bonds of pack, and as Maren ran their hand through their hair, it hit Elizabeth how much Maren reminded her of Thomas when he was frustrated, overwhelmed with all the work that needed to be done. Maren had always taken after Thomas in terms of appearance, darker hair compared to Mark’s light brown, the same stature. And as Maren had gotten older, their appearances only resembled each other more. If Thomas was alive, Elizabeth thought he and Maren would look more like twins than Maren and Mark. 

A wave of bitter and sweet ran through her and Maren lifted their head, feeling it as it passed through Elizabeth.

“Liz?” Maren tilted their head towards Elizabeth as they yawned. Elizabeth wondered when the last time Maren slept was. She hoped it wasn’t the last time Maren had had a nightmare, which had been a few nights before. 

Maren had been having nightmares since Mark and Carter had been able to shift back, a product of Maren dealing with the damaged bonds with their Omega pack members, no longer being able to rely on the strength of their bond with Mark. Although Robbie was their tether now, that didn’t mean things were easy, for Maren or Mark. The nightmares reminded Elizabeth of the ones Joe had had (and sometimes still had, although he’d deny it if anyone asked him.) 

She wouldn’t be surprised if Maren forgot to sleep, but this seemed… a bit more deliberate on Maren’s part.

“You look like your brother like that,” Elizabeth said. Maren looked at her, confused. 

“You look like Thomas.”

Maren twitched, like a flinch that’s trying not to be a flinch, and Elizabeth immediately felt bad for saying anything at all. 

“I didn’t mean that in a hurtful way,” Elizabeth said, quickly, turning their back to Maren. 

She heard them sigh, “I know that.” Their voice was rough and they cleared their throat, “I just… you know how I feel about Thomas. I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven him. For some of the shitty decisions he made. For hurting Mark.” Maren was quiet again before continuing. “For dying.”

Elizabeth felt a new wave of blue crash over them. Elizabeth put her hand on Maren’s shoulder and kissed their cheek. 

“You need to make peace with him,” Elizabeth said softly, breathing in her friend’s scent. 

Maren scoffed, “Sure, let me add that to my to-do list right after I get my doctorate,” Maren said dryly, “Oh wait, I can’t.” 

Elizabeth knew how deep, how great the anger and resentment between Thomas and Maren stood. And the fact that they couldn’t make peace with Thomas because he was gone made Elizabeth’s heart ache. Still, after raising three boys– and knowing how stubborn her brother-in-law was, Elizabeth knew a dead-end conversation when she heard one. So she changed the subject.

“Doctorate?” Elizabeth asked. 

Slowly, Maren nodded, appreciating the subject change. “That’s what all this is,” they said, gesturing towards the papers and books scattered on the table. 

“Ah,” Elizabeth said. “Why the sudden urge?”

“Because I am taking advantage of the quiet time before everything goes to shit again.”

Elizabeth let out a small laugh at Maren’s phrasing before patting their shoulder once again, heading towards the stove to (actually) start cooking. 

And Maren would finish their application for grad school. Unfortunately right before they were ready to send it, their son would attack two of their pack and an Omega, before going missing, breaking Maren’s heart in ways they didn’t know their heart  _ could _ be broken. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hugest fucking shoutout to Gigi and Sarah for being the original people to read about Maren, with Sarah being the first. Y'all have helped THE MOST and I am forever, forever grateful to you. Sarah, thanks for being a good Godmom to Maren. I truly owe you my life. 
> 
> Thank you for Torie for all the music help, it literally couldn't have happened without you. And thank you to Collen for some final editing on some scenes. All my love!
> 
> Thank you to those in my fic workshop on RAO, especially Steph and Justin. I literally never would have started this without you guys. 
> 
> Finally, thank you to everyone on Twitter for the kind words of encouragement, especially the non-Magicians folk. Ya'lls kind words meant more to me than I know how to explain. Bless yall.


End file.
